And it Starts Today.

All the warning signs were there... I just never pieced it together. It wasn't until he started having these meltdowns that I suspected maybe something else was wrong and maybe my son wasn't just being a typical braty child. I can't describe the feeling of hearing that your little boy, your baby, has been suspended for chasing around his vice principal with a pair of scissors in his hand. When your handed this little bundle of joy at birth, no one slaps a warning label on them that says "Caution: Your Child May be Autistic, Proceed with Care." After the school incident, we tried seeing doctors and Outpatient programs, but he was also kicked out of those for asaulting a teacher with his coat. So, two weeks ago, Aidan went to children's Psych. I've never felt so weak in my life then having to close a door behind me and watch my six year old in paper scrubs having blood work and vitals taken while crying and pleading with me not to leave him there. He is my world. He's one of the reason's I'm here today. Hearing over and over again, "Your son has Aspergers.. a form of Autism...," it just never registers with you what that means. First off, your thinking to yourself, "Did he just say assburgers?" And oh! That comedian, the one that played off of his disease, isn't that what he called it? Your head spins and spins and spins, and at first, you take that deep sigh of relief, FINALLY.. we have an answer. But then the reality sets in that this isn't like the flu or chicken pox. It won't just get better and go away after 7 to 10 days. This is something that changes our life. This changes the course from now on. Hearing doctors and social workers coaching you on how to talk to your son in a whole different way, treating him differently but at the same time, being normal. It's like a precisely tuned juggling act, but with one tiny slip, it can all come tumbling down. Taking this one day at a time is much easier said then done. Trying to structure our entire lives around one person, and working and being a parent and a wife, how do we do this? Of course, I'm sure like many, I've had this "Why Me?" moment. The moment where you start questioning everything. Asking, "Why was I picked to raise this child.." and then you take one look into those deep brown eyes, and realize, he could have every disease known to man kind and he'd still be yours. He's still your Aidan. So it all starts today.